Life is plenty of choices and everyone of us can choose whether being stuck in anger and grief or let go the past and cultivate everyday our fortune.
“All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.”
During the weekend I usually experience a sort of mental breakdown. I’m training my mind to become stronger with daily mindfulness practices, purposeful job’s activities, an attitude of self-acceptance and through a strict routine of habits, including smoking (probably too much) a pipe. I’m rediscovering some of my passions that I’ve lost throughout my wandering around cities and persons in the previous years and I’m cultivating them. Hence, these episodes of breakdown are getting fewer and shorter.
On Saturday I went by my psychotherapist. I felt overwhelmed by anxiety and there was anything that I could do to calm me down. I could just accept it and wait for the storm to pass by. But I made the mistake of drinking a glass of liquor in the afternoon and a glass of whisky and bier at night with my friend who cam e at my home. It never happens to me to get drunk, because of the weird shape of my esophagus that is straight and hasn’t the normal curvatures that it’s expected to have. So, I get sick immediately after a pair of drinks. However, last Saturday night I didn’t notice the telltale signals of my body in time and suddenly I ran to the bathroom to throw up, while my friend was enjoying my loss of self-control.
Yesterday, as she has foreseen, I felt refreshed. I consider these episodes like slap in my face from the Universe, that reminds me to not stray from my path and stop complaining for what I haven’t yet, but be grateful for my luck.
In fact, my life has been a tough one, but nevertheless I’m regaining the opportunities that were stolen to me.