If I were to die tomorrow?
Have you ever posed this question to yourself?
Is it ever occurred to you to cast doubt on the worthiness of your daily activities?
A pair of days ago my friends’relative suddenly died. There were no clues to foresee his death, but it happened. He was at a cafe, drinking a coffee with a friend and he just fell dead. And the question arose most urgently in my mind: “If I were to die tomorrow, how would I want to expend my last day?“.
I usually repeat to myself like a mantra: “Live as if I were to die tomorrow“, borrowing the statement from a quote by Mahatma Gandhi. But what does living really mean?
At the moment I’m here stuck in this apartment throwing away all the records of my family’s past. Dealing with the errors we made and a capitalistic lifestyle pattern that failed to provide us the security and happiness that it promised.
My country is on the ropes. People around me are constantly getting bad news and tackling with a too fast-paced daily routine. Yesterday I was at the supermarket and three women were complaining about the difficulty of enjoying any of their activities because they have no time to pause and just being in the present moment.
But I deem that we can choose to live the life we want to. We are not bound to an existence that we don’t feel as ours. We can overturn the social conventions and be who we really are. Fuck the script that has been taught us to play everyday!
I’m bloody scared of being judged and be considered inadequate as entrepreneur, as citizen, as daughter, as woman of my time. It’s hard to me simply be honest sharing my thoughts without any marketing strategy in mind. Using this company’s website as a blog to just express my feelings for the situation of my country and the hardships that I’m going through. Nevertheless I started this project in the light of these current conditions. Probably I wouldn’t have undertaken such an endeavor if I didn’t breathe so much desperation in my own country.
It’s not merely a matter of symptoms of an economic collapse or the childish and racist attitude of the politicians who are in government. But rather the people’s talks. Their resignation, frustration and anger for a situation they feel beyond their control. Everywhere I go the background noise is always the same. It’s a never-ending fight for survival. You can’t trust anyone since we’re all in the same sinking boat, struggling to not drown.
And it’s quite tragicomic how abroad Italy is still pictured as an oasis of peace where people enjoy a glass of wine and good food in front of the sunset. As a matter of fact this is a romantic memory of our past. As Sorrentino excellently expressed in his masterpiece “The Great Beauty” is a glittering facade.
Our capital, Rome caput mundi is literally falling apart. The earth is swallowing entire districts. While the rest of the country is shaken by earthquakes and fires. And ever more migrants are drowning in our sea or are confiscated by the Libyans Europe has been paying for this service.
Exactly as we had already done with the Nazis when the guilt was to be Jewish or gypsy or homosexual.
In the meantime the younger generations who were born and grown here but to foreigner parents have no right to be recognized as Italian. Since our politicians assumed the ius soli as a dangerous law against the preservation of our traditions and Roman Catholicism. It’s a pity that the Pope fully disagrees on this issue.
However I’m not catholic at all and this makes me less Italian? If I had non-Italian or even non-EU parents would I represent an actual risk for the Italian society? I don’t think so. It’s only a fact of how much you love your country, you were born into.
It has nothing to do with the matter of protecting the purity of a race. This is an absurd bullshit!
As a matter of fact this idea goes against the values of our Constitution.
These politicians who promotes the hatred against the Stranger are perpetrating the same crimes we committed under fascism. There is no excuse for their actions.
Many people treat them as fools who are going to destroy each other. They don’t take into account them as a real threat to our democracy. Though according to me we’re living a kind of déjà vu. From our history we know how foolishness easily roots itself and wide-spread as a weed in the receptive ground of fear, anger and desperation. And these are the exact conditions of my country. As well as of the U.S. and the European countries where the extreme right wings are gaining ever more consensus.
It’s blatant! Just look at the treatment reserved to journalists who constantly deal with lawsuits for defamation. Or with physical assaults in front of the camera. And even worse with death threats when they write about mafia. As much as it occurs to magistrates. Even who attempts to save human lives on our coasts is being arrested. Same as on the Alps.
For you is this to be considered a democracy?
Therefore if I were to die tomorrow, I would be glad of having spoken up on these issues today. Because I can’t surrender my soul as human being to this national resignation and hatred for the dramas we’re experiencing. I want to dream. Dream of a delightful outcome. In fact with all my heart I desire to believe that I’m wrong. And that maybe my personal troubles are distorting the reality.
Nonetheless I’m going to create this haven that is My Rivendell where everyone will have the room to dream.
We’ll admire the sunset enjoying a glass of wine together. And maybe we’ll think “if I were to die tomorrow, it have been worth to live today”.